Blog Post of the Week: The Truth Unveiled

So, if you haven't already guessed it from the posts that have come before, publishing is one of those jobs that can Eat Your Life--albeit in a particularly wonderful way that lets you read all sorts of great books before the rest of the world has even seen them. But there's no such thing as ever being completely Caught Up. Add an attention-demanding two-year-old to the mix at home, and what is an editor to do? Get way behind on her TV watching, for one thing. So imagine my amazement when I saw this the other evening amongst my many backed-up, DVRed shows.

To start with the obvious first... Yes, I know The Daily Show is not a blog. As close to a slice of perfection as exists on the airwaves today, for sure, but not a blog. Still, the revolutionary nature of this revelatory clip compels me to share it with all of you, regardless. Because, people, the lid is off! The cat is out of the bag! One bold author has finally revealed all our deepest, darkest secrets. At last, I can join the ranks and come clean about "Keri Arthur"--aka Axehandle Annie--and her lust for a good, sharp blade that has landed her enough stints in solitary for us both to launch her career with four books in four months, and now to kick off the newest series with two books back to back. (Darkness Unbound, and Darkness Rising, coming in early 2012.) And of my patently ridiculous failure to get "George R.R. Martin" and "Scott Lynch" anywhere near solitary, despite numerous bribes and intense scheming. Far too canny, those two. But what can you expect of the brilliant and yet unexpected criminal mastermind Tugboat Harry (and yes, that is his hat George is wearing in all of his author photos; Harry insists!), and the wily con-man (and, apparently, egotist) Luke Lamora, who insists on writing about his real-life exploits, albeit under the veil of fantasy? They take their own sweet time, both of them, but the results are always worth the frustration. As for "Connie Willis..." Well, I hate to admit I got suckered, but I did. Despite the repeated claims of the woman who insists on calling herself Bloody Mary that she knew all about World War II—after all, she'd mentioned it enough in some of her previous novels!—it took me seven years of increasingly frantic visits to realize the truth. Plug ignorant...not that I should have been surprised to find a convicted felon lying to me. Fortunately, that was just about the time that Bernie Madoff came available for hire, so we were able to tap him to do our research. A winning combination, all around! So, Patton Oswalt, a profound thank you for finally freeing us all from our chains!